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this one time when i was fucked up...

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Sunday, December 31st, 2006
11:38 am - the finish line
i missed you LJ but i cant say what i feel and i cant feel what i want to say, its self fulfilling.

i guess ill try.
I love
and sometimes you have to fight for what you love
its hard baby but it will get easier

I win?
how unlikely
how unlike me

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Monday, August 29th, 2005
1:49 am - woo hoo longtime
i missed ya livejournal <3

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Thursday, April 7th, 2005
12:02 am
I worked at James tonight and it was pretty busy consistently all night (made 33 some odd bux in tips) but at the end of the night it took us so long to clean up. well I was done like 930 but the cook had to do so much prep and stuff, as well as cleanup. he would also have to clock off early, and it was not fair, so I just opted to help him and clean up and mop etc, while we ere both off the clock, it was quite cool in a way cause we talked about interesting shit about the restaurant and life, and how the assistant manager used to hate me.

which is depressing in a way but also it makes me feel better because I won him over and in Andy's eyes genuinely likes me now. i worked at making him like me too, not by comprimising myself but by being myself, so i was proud in a way. Andy also told me that the assistant manager wanted to fire me so bad for a while but the owner would not let him. which is very pathetic in my opinion: me being like inept at being a FUCKING WAITER. I mean I did get fired from washing dishes. man I have to hope its because I'm too fucking good to be working some shitty job like that, yeah that's it.

anyways i helped him finish everythingCollapse ) up. i did it because it was what was the right thing to do, and i would hope some one would lend me a hand if i needed it.

karma man, look into that shit

current mood: peaceful

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Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
3:31 am - i know boring post

Find me on MySpace and be my friend!

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Thursday, March 24th, 2005
9:29 pm
the other night me and ryan dropped acid. it was awesome and eye opening. however there was some sress involved due to some drama. however the dramam was only in our heads although it has potential to be very volitile...

this whole week ive been working; which really bums me out. but it hasnt been so bad. ive been to some cool parties too; chill ones; and met/ reconnected with some cool people. all in all its just lonesome...

current mood: lonely

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Saturday, March 19th, 2005
1:18 am - dude what trhe fuck?
all day my phone has been like struggling to get service. it will have 5 bars then no service then roaming. etc etc. its quiet gay, and ive talked to a bunch of other people whio its also happening to. but apparently if u bitch at sprint they will give you money back cause they suck so bad... eitherway its lame

current mood: drunk

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Wednesday, March 16th, 2005
12:37 am - ya so this isnt what i had in mind
tonight i was over at trevors after visiting my mom in the hospital : ( (shes having surgery but doing well). trevor offers to buy me a burger if i drive him to jack in the box. on our way there we stop at the atm cause trevor is poor. on our way there i see this lump on the ground. WALLET. im like "WALLET MINE" and me and trevor race towards it, knocking eachother over. he grabs it, bastard. and we run back to the car. 222 bux in there and a BUNCH of papers n shit. yep we take da moneys and toss the wallet in the bank doorway so someone will find it in the morning and call him... we ratioanlize it by saying that hes lucky to get all his papers and id and cards and shit back; cause if the bums had found it they would have kept the wallet and stuff.

so the moral of the story is: what we did hurt someone, (atleast he gets all his shit back, probably) but me and trevor each get 110 bucks and a free burger...
my question to you: what would you have done?

current mood: guilty

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Tuesday, March 15th, 2005
3:26 pm - comment plz
ive been pretty burned out on livejournal lately and havent updated in a long time, mostly because ive been busy; but partly cause no one seems to read my posts or comment... so if you would like to see anymore posts plz comment here....

also if you do i promise a nice juicy post with a bunch of shit that has happened lately...

(7 vomits | share your vomit)

Friday, February 11th, 2005
12:31 am
I had to get up at 540 this morning to go snow boarding. but I slept through my alarm. and at 600 someone called me, and I woke up. funny thing is that the alarm is louder than the ring (theres conditioning for you :P )
anyways it was a fucking tight day on the mountain. but stupid JAMIES scheduled me for work at 5:30, which was ridiculous. so basically I had to go straight to work from the mountain, and didn't even have time to go home.
work was not bad. although the cook said I looked like I was drunk, I believe he used the name "W. C. FIELDS", I blame the snow boarding.
I didn't get home till 9. it was a long day and now I'm going to bed cause I have school and work tomorrow :P

current mood: exhausted

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Friday, February 4th, 2005
12:41 am
http://profiles.myspace.com/users/17556037 myspace yall click it if ya want

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Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
11:13 pm
fuck watch "masked and anonymous" by bob dylan

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Monday, January 31st, 2005
11:39 pm
mmm chocolate milk and heaven

current mood: content

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Sunday, January 30th, 2005
9:29 pm - tight
i got a job at jamies (great hamburgers). you alls must come and visit

current mood: accomplished

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Friday, January 21st, 2005
2:21 am - ouch
to celebrate my newly found freedom i went and got shit pierced...wanna see..ok

my right conche

agian

septum


i have no idea
yeah i got both my conches (left and right) peirced and my septum and it was pretty cool. hurt like a bitch the conches did. and the septum made my eyes stream like they have not in years. all in all im pretty happy with the way the day turned out

current mood: drained

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Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
6:51 pm
ps. shitty weather at the mountain tomorrow but were gonna go instead of not going and making it up at the end of the class so we get to waste our money on a shitty day at the mountain.
fuck you very much universe
zack

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6:48 pm - FUCKFUCKADUCK
hey kids
guess what? uncle Zacky lost his job. now he can sit on the couch and eat potatochips and watch t.v. until he shoots himself in the head with a shotgun.
seriously gayest shit EVER, they said i talked too much and i wasnt busy enough. which are both bullshit. the reason i talked and wasnt busy was cause there was nothing to do cause i was so fast at washing dishes. (i know that sounds like bragging but i dont mean it in a good way) and i woudl do everything on my list to do and anything else i could think of. the only thing i could have done is asked her more for direction when i was all caught up....
fuck those motherfuckers at hole in the wall barbeque seriously....
anyone know of someone hiring?

current mood: fucking pissed

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Monday, January 10th, 2005
9:33 pm - as if there was a question
You scored as Stoner.

</td>

Punk/Rebel

69%

Stoner

69%

Goth

63%

Loner

56%

Ghetto gangsta

56%

Geek

50%

Drama nerd

38%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

6%

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

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Thursday, January 6th, 2005
12:23 am - things etc.
I started school on Monday I have:
religions of India which may be pretty sweet even though I hate religion. then I have psychology 202 which is pretty cool cause psych is fun and there are some people I would really like to get to know in ;-)...
then of course math class which is always lame. its math 111. I have taken pre calculus for the last 3 years essentially :\

then my great class is sposed to be snow boarding. but I found out that lamely enough we don't go to the mountain tomorrow, so basically I'm doing nothing tomorrow.
also someone who ditched me I will see tomorrow and it makes me feel weird cause I like her but hate her...fuckher though.

current mood: okay

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Saturday, January 1st, 2005
1:22 pm
Verse 1]
They told me I would never make it, I would never achieve it
Reality is nurishment, but people don't believe it
I guess its hard to stomach the truth like a bulimick
its a dirty game and nobody is willing to clean it
But this is for the paralygics, people dreamin' of runnin'
ladies married to men who dont please 'em, dreamin' of comin'
urbanly murderous like David Berkowitz when I'm gunnin'
Some cowards on the internet didn't think I would sell
scared to talk shit in person, cuz they stuck in a shell
and couldn't understand the pain of being stuck in a cell
Hell is not a place you go, if you not a christian
it's the failure of your lifes greatest ambition
It's a bad decision to blindly follow any religion
I don't see the difference in between the raw and the wrong
Soldiers emptyin' the clips at little kids and they moms
I'm just like a desperate motherfucker strapped to a bomb
Humanity is gone, smoked up in a gravity bong
by a democrat republican Cheech and Chong
Immortal Technique, you never heard me preachin' a song
I'm not controversial, I'm just speakin' the facts
Put your hands in the air like you got the heat to your back
and shake your body like a baby born addicted to crack
And since life is a gamble like the crabstables at Vegas
I freestyle my destiny, it's not written in pages

[Verse 2]
I hate it when they tell us how far we came to be
as if our peoples history started with slavery
Painfully I discovered the shit they kept us secret
this is the exodus like the black jews out of Egypt
I keep it reality based wit the music I make
brought the truth to your face with the style I run wit
like the navy missile that shot down flight eighthundred
I'm like the africans who came here before Colombus
and from the 15hundreds until after the model
I watch Latin America get raped in the sorrow
You see the spanjards never left Espace the Cologne
and if you don't believe me, you can click on Uni Mission
I never seen so much racism in all of my life
every program and newscast, all of them white
It's like a part tide with 10 percent ruling the rest
that type of stress 'll make me put the fucking tool to your chest
Step in my way nigga, I wouldn't wanna be ya
I burn slow like (a) pissing drunk with gonnorrhea
I'll do a freak show in North Korea, burning the flag
while Jay Edgar Hoover politicians dress up in drag
Try to confuse you, makin' it hard to follow this:
capitalism en democracy are not synonymous
You swallow propaganda like a birth control pill
sellin' your soul to the eye on the back of the dollar bill
But that will never be me, cuz I am leavin' the past
like an abused wife with the kids, leavin' your ass
Like a drug addict clean and sober, leavin' the stash
unbreakable Technique leavin' the plane crash
I'm out with the black box and I refuse to return
I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condecending advice
cuz I am the only motherfucker that could change my life

[Ending]
Some people think I won't make it
but I know that I will
Escape the emptiness
cuz that shit is slow and it kills
the flow and the skill
I made y'all believe that it last
You can make the future
but it starts with LEAVING THE PAST

current mood: worried

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Saturday, December 18th, 2004
12:34 am - heres a nice bit of pathetecism for you...
- just saw garden state +
- bored, home, alone, because everyone who ever called me their friend now hates me, and i deserve it. *
- waste of a friday night^^

+great movie which let helped me understand my own life in many ways. and made me realize how fucked my life is and how badly i need someone i love. but on the other hand made me feel really good in a way and it was really well done.

* due partly to my own ego, my lack of respect for friends feelings, jealousy, people leaving my life, and maybe SOME healthy choices. i have lost many people that i really or just thought i really cared about and appreciated. however to anyone (HAHAHA) reading this, i do have good friends who i have not lost. i feel dislodged.

^^for all those reasons and more tonight is a waste of an otherwise perfect friday night, i almost want to go to sleep so it will be over and i can spend 10 hours at work tomorrow washing dishes...

current mood: depressed

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